Flying Sideways

(This one is about insomnia. It's a little rough still and I'm working to edit it, but I wanted to post it, so here it is!)

This is how I roll
This is how I ride
On a balance beam on the edge of time
I slip, I slide in eight-inch heels
On an icicle over an abyss
I sway in the wind over an icy plane
All is dark and the wind bites
Fear is tangible on this dark night
Red fluorescent numbers sing me the time
That’s my death sentence, that’s my crime
All is empty, silent, still
A black hole that sucks me in until
I’m lying on ice that’s far too thin
I trip, I step, heel to toe
On a rooftop edge a mile high
While a question lingers against the sky,
Across the depth
What if I were to miss a step?
I laugh, I wobble on this edge of mine
I might just slide back into time
Into a dawn and a burning sun
Who knew the day had finally begun?
Cartwheel sideways, wheeling still
Trip and flip and slip until
My lack of balance has me…
Standing still
Those empty eyes look on, won’t flee
They didn’t know I had it in me
Handstands and triple flips
What I lack in confidence
I find in sheer pig-headedness.
But when I close my eyes
When I give up,
Let out a sigh
I fly sideways off this icicle edge of mine
I lose my heartbeat, lose my spine
The walls fall and the tears glide
All my flaws just seem to slide
Away, away, I let them go
Falling, falling towards empty snow
An empty welcome, an age old crime
It will happen again sometime.
Next time I find I cannot sleep
I’m flying sideways, in too deep.

Frances