Making the Connection

Dedicated to me, for missing yet another scholarship deadline


I could have sworn I saw my brother in your eyes
except for the fact that you look better and haven’t come to realize
that the photograph I hold in my hand is of you,
a thousand miles away covered in disappointment, sweat, and tears.
I want to say that you look lost with a touch of anger
because I find myself in the same position, the same pain, only quieter.
These tears are salty because this report card is bad and
I just might not go to college and help the world as I’d planned.
Every C,D, and F is another itinerary cancelled
and for some reason…I don’t think you’d appreciate that.
You see my brother from another brother and another world entirely
we are connected you and I.
How I can’t say yet, but because of you I must try.
Pretty words can only get me so far
and Pretty grades can’t tell what I do out of home;
while you were playing with sticks
and breaking calcified bones
My Words have been spilling stories of Israel and Palestine
of how I wish that their governments would drop more than just lifelines
…tales of a president beyond color and past within the U.S.
of how hope could eventually ease our struggles and all of our distress.
Stories last a lifetime if the words are on paper
and as if by your persistence,
my personal library continues to grow greater.
The stories I read and the stories I tell
have taken up my time and so in school I don’t do well.
Instead, I tell people to lean, to listen now and then
Focus on the bigger picture, don’t try and pinpoint the when.
I’ll take own advice and I won’t crumple your photo
I will dry my eyes, still insisting on some greater good .
The next A is for you,
I know this although nothing is set in stone
I’m going to find myself just for you,
and together
we’re coming home.

Fuller.D

Let Our Love Light

Let your love light
Let your love light
Let your love light
Let your love light SHINE

Paper may leave pen but will always come back again

That…that is Love
Let your love light
Let your love light
Let your love light
Let your love light SHINE

Ajay sat with his pen, envisioning
his dreams would always come back again;
so he could tell stories of crumbling ancient temples
lightly dusted with sand,
retold by his father who helped to
retake the great land
from the great empire
who fought a great fight
and lost in a great battle
So they said…
but Ajay knew there was more
MORE there had to be more
to this story past told.
What about the people,
the person,
the soul?
He sat his pen down
and refused to fight the feeling of
being unwound,
the voices in his head were no longer just sounds
but people, persons, souls
urging him on.

Let your love light
Let your love light
Let your love light
Let your love light SHINE

Paper may leave pen but will always come back again
That…that is love

Let your love light
Let your love light
Let your love light
Let your love light SHINE

an Apron full of beans,
dry Hands shelling seeds,
lean Bodies climbing trees,
these were the things he went out to See.
Hugs coming to a standstill,
Love lost in a landfill,
Children’s laughter for a bill,
these were the things he didn’t want to Be
there, surrounding him.
MORE there just had to be more!
But questioning the past was like
questioning the World one Person at a time,
one Generation at a time,
one Memory at a time.
And so Ajay picked back up his pen,
deciding to retell the story once again;
this time for his son and his sons.
Just like his father did for him.

Paper left pen and came back again
That…that was love.

Fuller.D

Time for some self-advertising :)

Hello everyone,

So I just got myself a deviantart profile. All my favorite older poems are on there right now, and I will be putting all my new stuff on there too. I know a few people on here also have one, so friend me!

knutt18.deviantart.com

Hope the club's going well. I'm coming home tomorrow but not in time for the meeting, but hopefully I'll see some of you at the musical this weekend!!

Peace and Love,
Kendra :)

Juniper

(I know this is maybe more of a story than a poem, but I meant it as a poem, so hopefully it's close enough. This is about when I was happiest.)

The scent still stuns her when she comes across it
It takes her back, eight years and three months to the day.
It's a bittersweet reunion with her memories.
One week of pure bliss,
When life was simple for a while
When the biggest worry was if the sky would be as blue as the day before
It always was.
The alfalfa fields made her happy.
They made the deer happy, too.
She loved standing on the porch and looking out at the whirring sprinklers
She used to whisper the world "alfalfa" to herself and giggle.
She liked the pine trees and the wide open spaces.
She liked the pastures, with all the cows.
She used to moo right back at them.
Her favorite place to go was down by the river.
She'd sing to herself and throw pebbles,
then wade through the stream to put them back in the right spot.
She loved the old pulley swing that pulled her across the water,
Over to the forest where she could spot porcupine quills and beaverteeth marks on the trees.
She loved the campfires and burnt marshmellows.
She got s'mores all over her face every time.
She swam until she looked like a prune and ran home in her bathing suit.
She played volleyball until the stars came out
And learned all about Orion and how to find his belt.
And that smell...she always knew she was home.
She was disappointed when she found out it was only juniper
And not simply something magical in the air.
The horizon couldn't get any wider,
Surrounded by mountains on three sides
Three sisters, standing tall and proud.
She laughed at the names, I remember.
They were so beautiful. So cliched. So right.
Faith, hope, and charity.
Who knew the future would have to hold so much of each?
But the future never crossed her mind.
All she saw were her own size two sneakers pounding down the pavement
All she felt was a bubbling laugh.
She laughed like there was no tomorrow.
When she was there, there was no tomorrow.
There was only today.

~Frances~

Utter Chaos

rules, regulations
class expectations
more responsibility
woop de doo!
more everyone wants you to do
the over excited teachers
sound like long imprisoned preachers
ridding of their guilty soul
ughh respect this... respect that
their rules boring us out of control

Eh! I can't Stand him!
She never smiles.
Oh no that one's really mean!!!
I heard once.. or twice he was stabbed in the spleen.

Passing in assignments
Oh that just looks fine!
The awestruck teachers
My ACHING spine!

Cover this one.
No a three inch binder for that.
Do you remember what happened to Pat?
He moved to Ohio.
Or so
I was told.

Did you meet him.
he makes me want to pee my pants.
I heard
he never waters his plants.
What lunch do you have?
Oh NO! You can't!
All this walking
is making me pant

My first impressions
way passed destroyed
my friends from last year
mostly a VOID!

This chaos is crazy!
Utterly insane.
They call this a school?
Hey, what was your name?
Did you see that freshnan?
He's going to the pool.
We have a Dresscode?
NO WAY! since when?
What's wrong with you!
You're taking HONORS CHEM!!

Geometry what I bust
I know I might hate it
but studying every night
is a must.

Where is woodshop?
I don't know!
Did you see the cop?
Where should I GO!?!?
Ick no I can't go to Spanish.
eww math first!!
give me some time.
I NEED some free verse.

I NEED the bus!
Get me out of this place
my only must.
Puuuhlease I'll buy you a coffee cup.
Oh come! Save me!
Have you seen this tremendous mess!!!
I won't ever survive this year.
I'm buried miles and miles deep in stress!!!
Oh no it's the end.
UGHH It's ONLY JUST BEGUN!
Between all these worries.
I can never have fun.


Becky :)

When Your Brain Is Pancake Batter

*all the parts in parentheses are supposed to be indented but the blog won't let me do it for some strange and unknown reason*

Dizzy dazes are my vice
On days when brains will melt like ice
When cognition has no hand to hold
. (A sorry state, as I’ve been told)
And so it holds fast to its own
Thoughts get lost here all alone
They wander ‘round, they slide and slip
Soupy minds can’t get a grip
They float around so lazily
While synapses fire crazily
Only to burn out too fast
. (Connections here can’t hope to last)
They fry and frazzle, run so wild
Turn a woman to a child
Who can only clutch her teddy bear
Suck her thumb and blankly stare
As life explodes before her eyes
. (The moment fantasy always dies)
And reality slaps her thinning cheek
Forces her to smile and speak
To spew the phrase, “I’m fine, just fine!”
To blink away the teary shine
There’s no time, so grab your tissues
Life won’t wait here for your issues
Sprint in time with it; don’t fight
. (Though it takes up all your might)
Catch your childish butterflies
You know quite well they’re only lies
But pretty colors dull the ache
Of a truth that even you can’t shake
Hate it, cut it; it’s still there
A biting ether in your air
Breathe it in; it’ll knock you down
. (Your pillow is your only crown)
Your fairytales, they crumbled quickly
Left behind a head that’s sickly
That can’t contain its only brain
Can only latch on the mundane
The tangible can cloud your vision
Can take the edge off sheer derision
Until you don’t know left from right
You’ll soon prefer the dark to light
Where everything blurs into one
. (Reality stands out in the sun)
You wouldn’t quite know how to feel
If you looked at what was real
It could only further melt your brain
. (You swore you wouldn’t go insane)
So hug your teddy, hold him tight
He’ll tell you things will be alright
You know better, but no matter
When your brain is pancake batter
Childish promises are all you’ve got
Better judgment amounts to naught
Soft, bright blankies serve to hide
Life’s much truer, harsher side
Here you’ll find sweet lullabies
Hidden in your butterflies
The ones that flutter in your head
While you lie awake in bed
Wondering how things got so tough
Believing used to be enough
But now it hardly helps at all
. (It can’t even break your fall)
So wish upon your star so bright
Lie down and kiss yourself goodnight
Close you eyes and hope and pray
That tomorrow you’ll finally face the day

~Kassi~

Look! Kendra's posting from college!

Hey everyone! I hope everyone's having a great year and that poetry club is going swimmingly. I miss you guys so much. Every time I write a new poem the first thing I think is always "Ahh I can't wait to read this at poetry club!" Then I remember that I am 4 hours away from poetry club and won't be back until December and promptly become very upset. So I've decided to send a little piece of myself to poetry club to hold you guys over until December :). This is the best poem I've written to date and I hope you all like it.

"Steinway" 9/27/2008

He sits at the piano with his shaking hands and sweating brow
Not knowing if there’s anything left in him to play
The chords of his heartstrings have turned diminished in quality
And when he tries to play them the world becomes his tritone
He sees the world in half steps and whole tone scales
Not in the major scales like children expect the world to be
Because he’s seen the flats in people’s minds
And the sharps in people’s souls
He tries to play his life like a waltz with a happy ending
But at the end of the day it’s all he can do not to
Try and squeeze himself in the space between the black and white keys
And hide under the dampers
His mind races in arpeggios of questions and chaos
As he tries to figure out where his bass line ends and his heartbreak begins
Where the light ring of a high C turns into his tears falling onto the ivory
He melts into the piano bench and transposes himself onto the pages of music inside
For he feels that if he makes himself look like the Opuses of Beethoven
Maybe people will listen to what he has to play
He places his hands on the ivory extension of his soul and plays
From his childhood all the way to him sitting at the piano with his shaking hands
And his sweating brow
Finally when he’s played his entire being into the acoustics of his existence
He plays himself to sleep
And dreams of all the sonatas and suites he wishes he could be.
~


Love and Peace to everyone,
Kendra L. Nutting ♥

Who We Are

(I really love this poem. It's...poetry and the power of words and us all mixed into one. Hope you enjoy it!)

We are the poets of the world
Artists of the word
Creators of the rhyme
We see a million futures
In all the pasts left behind
We defy the definitions
But conform to form
We explore the outside edges
Where reality's been torn
We trespass into dangerous lands
We follow foggy paths to unplanned destinations
We set convention on its head
Inside out, upside down
We take practicality
And spin her 'round and 'round
We weave hormones into phrases
And neurons into stories
We speak of the unspeakable
We sing the unsung glories
We disect the alphabet
And cobble together new words
We listen to the colors
We see what has been heard
We halt the ticking clock
To examine all the facets of time
We use eloquence
To change the recesses of the mind.
We know the power that words can hold
They can start revolutions
And heal lost souls.
So welcome to our world
It's a priveleged few
Who know that boundaries are...boundless
And so are you.

Frances

Yesteryears have left strange thoughts behind.
In this central bowl of knowledge I spoon through leaflets and pamphlets
trying to let it all digest
in a manner which I can understand.
Yet the past isn't opening up to me.
Nature's not being what I need it to be.
So tell me Emerson, Whitman
let your century old breath whisper to me
what's next?
I've kept my sabbath all by myself and I'm still only where I started
calling out to a God I fear can'r hear me.
I've read your essays and your speeches
I've peeked into your personla lives and what I found
were just leaves, just grass
(a smell I unknowingly despise).
Your will was stronger than my own
your democracy stands enumerated through time,
when will you allow this light to shine on me?

Beggars can't be choosers
but choosers can be losers
can I can't go back to Confucius
because he was meant to confuse us...

Eve's furies are shadow-cast over my every bend, turn, and twist
How do you justify this?
I've looked into the past
and in every reincarnation I've been slaughtered and underminded,
I've been used to wage wars and slaughtered to make peace.
Tell me where I stand.
Tell me where I stand amongst God's and peasants-
adorments of either diamonds or coal

I've been searching for the answer but
age-ed leaflet's haven't spoken yet,
will they whisper for you?

Deidre-Ann Fuller

I'm under the gun
And above the petrified remnants
Of the plastered smile society.
I'm once again gliding,
Not to touch the pavement.
I no longer scream at night.
Into the tunneled memory of my failures.
I appreciate the thought,
But I don't want your poison.
You're punished by the anesthetic
That lines the walls of your wound
In healing pinstripes.
Disinfecting the memory
Of the nights you picked the scabs
To relive each battle
That you fought in the
City of Fire
Sing in me Sinister Muse!
And tell all our friends
The story of the sulfur
And the lies.

-Steve?-

What will you do?

When the world turns cold,
When silence falls like rain,
When the stars are broken
By all the pain,
The choice becomes obvious,
But harder to choose,
Stuck in limbo right now
Choose wrong and you lose.
You gamble all
That ever was and will be.
The brightness blinds you
Indefinitely.
When the Earth turns dark,
When sunlight falls gray,
You bet just to reach
Another day
But if the cards are wrong,
If they play you,
What then? What then?
What will you do?

~Frances~
(Not the best, I know, but it's summer and writing at all is an accomplishment at this point!)

Painkillers For Each Beautiful Throb

She bulletproofs the silence
Of these isolated streets.
They once were bright with the faces of misery.
She sweeps the dust away from the feet of the shadowed corpses,
Arranged meticulously as to portray what
Goals their cold eyes once represented.
I don't want to be hospitalized for this disease.
The cancerous love spreads,
Killing the cells and reproducing.
Her perfect gaze,
Sweetly caressing the life out of my thoughts.
A picture of her soft lips,
And entrancing eyes,
Is plastered against my skull.
I could live in this beautiful paralyzation untill I die.
And even then I suppose
She'll be my mind.
My unfufilled fantasies
Will have eternal life.
I just hope that the buzzards that will gnaw at my brain,
As I lie in the vast field off the interstate,
Will find you as attractive as I did.
Bloated admirers of yours will flood the morgues.
Merely just seeing your face on a passing bus,
Will commence
Your sexy
Epidemic.

-Steve?-

The Twilight poem has arrived!! ~Diamonds in the Sun~

Why can't I fit the sun in my pocket?
Feel its warmth against my cold skin
Warmth that comforts my troubled thoughts

Why can't I put the sun on my nightstand?
See it's rays as my eyes open from sleep
Rays that outshine the shadows in my nightmares

Why can't I hold the sun in my hand?
Listen to its songs that fill my ears
Songs that remind me that I'm not alone in this world

Why can't I keep the sun in my heart?
Fill the hole with its unending love
Love that could, possibly, make me forget the diamonds that cloud my vision

Why can't I have the sun forever?
The answer to that is simple:
The sun will burn out in time,
But diamonds are forever.


It has finally arrived!! I hope everyone likes it :) Hope everyone is enjoying their summers, and I hope to see you all before I leave for school (aaaahhhh!!!). If I don't, I will definitely come back to visit and I will put some of my college work up here.

Take Care Everyone!
♥Kendra*

The Imminent Occurances Of Postmortem

As some of you guys know, I have elaborate theories of what happens to the soul when the corpse eternally draws its lids over the eyes. This is one of my most recent ones.

They are all wearing masks,
Shielding the eye from truth.
Underneath, the enigmatic metal
Emits hate in ultraviolet rays.
They gracefully swim through forests
Of doubt.
Wavelets of proof rustle the leaves
At the surface.
In the darkened, rocky, bottom,
They show each other
What is truly under.
Their metallic sheen,
Illuminates the false assumptions.
And scares away the deer,
Fleeing in a school,
Against the current.
They need to surface
Or they drown with the lies.
Defiantly scouring
The vast heavens for an answer,
The smoke emitted from the burning clouds
Enters their elongated nostrils in tendrils
Of question.
WHY DOES LIFE CONITNUE?
All organisms just seemingly loiter in the barren void called earth awaiting their Imminent incineration,
Brought upon themselves by sin.
Senseless lust for eternal life.
Fornicating amongst themselves with theories.
Greed towards their deceased friends,
Who are already bathing in the fire,
Cleansing them of faith.
Our masks are flammable.
No matter which way we go after death,
We'll be exposed.
Whether by the flames of hell,
Or the warming flames in the fireplace of heaven,
After the pulse becomes parallel with the lines of latitude on the maps,
There are no lies.
The departed can no longer find a hiding spot in the jungle that lacks autotrophs.
Truth prevails and the liars learn that an admission to heaven can be revoked
By the dreaded pitchfork that stokes the fire burning our masks.

-Steve?-

After All It Ends

(I was thinking about all of us. All our inside jokes and fun times...and I came up with this. This is written from my perspective in a few years. I meant to read it...and it sounds way better when I read it aloud rather than on paper,but never found the chance. So here it is.)

I still snap my fingers
When it’s time to clap
They say “Put your hands together”
And I? I snap.
I still think of room 211
When I see a post-it note
I still shiver
Every time I read what I wrote.
When someone says “jam”
I think “poetry,” not “bread”
Since then, recitation isn’t a trial
It’s become joy, instead.
When someone says “Gimme more”
I think “That’s not right…”
I feel like something’s missing
Every Friday night
Because I wasn’t at MHS
Listening to poems about transvestite
Dinosaurs or chronic insomnia
But when I tell them how I miss it,
They just say “Get on with ya”
But how could they understand?
How could they see?
That words bond more deeply than any history?
Carrying couches down hallways
Who thought that could be fun?
You know, iHop is the place to be
When a show is done.
Under-cover operations
Were never so significant
As when we hid the flowers
And hoped the bucket wouldn’t tip.
In my head, MC and Benson
Are basically the same thing
If you’re looking for a techie,
Victoria is king.
Activity periods and cheese-its
Tend to go hand in hand
The best directors’ meetings
Are those that really…weren’t planned.
When I’m feeling creative,
My instinct is to doodle on the white board
When someone says “Hang on…I’m writing”
I never feel ignored.
When I hear something significant
I think “Mr. Collyer would have his head in his hands right about now”
You know, I still miss Kassi and Solana’s
Bow-chica-wow-wow
It’s the little things
That make us just like the poetry we write
I still miss Friday afternoons
Every Friday night.

~~Frances~~

For summer!

Ah, summer heat that soaks my skin
With golden possibility,
And summer wind that calls, "Begin!"
Then laughs, and wonders why,
Summer leaves that whisper wealth
From indolent facility,
Fruits plump and many with summer's warmth
To fill my hand... And I
Dream lolling clouds above the haze,
My lazy summer fantasies
Of hyacinth flights and marigold days...
I might have been
A butterfly!

When You Want the Top Hot Commodity

Dim the lights and pulse the beat
I only live to feel the heat
To twist and turn, to swing and sway
To pound my swirling thoughts away
To lose myself in words and notes
Because my mind—persistent—dotes
The rhythm fell with heavy breathing
Lo, I found my rage was seething
En masse the harlots swept right through
Wound their way right onto you
Panting, fainting with desire
Tangling with their clueless sire
My empty middle faintly growled
Inwardly I scratched and howled
Waiting, watching, calculating
Twirling soon was aggravating
And you just couldn’t take a hint
Too busy reveling in your stint
As the top hot commodity
You failed to spare yourself for me
So with teeth and claws and burning eyes
I fought through to claim my prize
Sweat-soaked gazes dared collide
You jumped on to catch the ride
Twining fingers, hands on hips
Coyish smiles on bitten lips
Sing you and me, breathe me and you
Tune in and maybe get a clue
Sway with me, trill in tune
Fate won’t give us time to swoon
Take me now, don’t wait so long
We only have to the end of the song
Time must pass, the beat will die
And then, what more of you and I?
We either die with this song’s end
And live our lives as friends, just friends
Or you can try and take this chance
Everything, my dear, starts with a dance

~Kassi~

Sonnet of sorts

' Ever let the wind be in my ears,
And never let the rain be at my throat;
For if the wind were whispers, rain were tears:
To secrets I'd be near, to sighs remote.
And should the river run her course in time,
Carrying me and storm's lot to the sea,
Then let the waves be rhythm, foam be rhyme,
And down the poem's current let me flee.
Like, should my ink outrun the course of thought,
Into the sea of feeling she should plunge.
A-swirl on a raft, I doubt I'd float--
But I've the Muse's breath to fill my lungs.
Effortless and regretless trav'ler, I,
Between the winds and waters, free to fly.

- Alexa

Time Is Passing

Time a general element of life
The One controls beautiful night and day
The clock, man wants to stab with a sharp knife
But he also controls the lavish pay

How tensions rise and crowds begin to cry
They will be smothered, crippled, and encaged
It’s the apocalypse so man might die
Incessant toil, privation, the crowd raged

An article was verbosely written
Oh, those vibrant words engulfed great passion
He stood up, the crowd at his side spoken
The One was destroyed and spared no ration

The day came when there were once working clocks
But tomorrow they dissembled as rocks


By The pres Alex

Wordly Abandon

My words have left me here
I fear
Run off to find a worthy ear
They pranced away, my thoughts in tow
To trill their tunes
But I don’t know
The verses there
The verses here
Ripped out my hair
For you, my dear
I fear
My words escaped, crept lightly off
I was stuck to sigh and scoff
Calculating to derive
How to get out of this alive
I worried there
I worried here
Anxiety shares
The space with fear
Oh dear
I never meant to complicate
From a to b to integrate
Insanity
Profanity
And a damn near loss of humanity
Don’t you see?
There can be no stopping me
I burned right through with enthalpy
My words escaped this melted mess
Saved themselves from sheer distress
Spewed their logos to the masses
Ethos languished still in classes
The pathos far
The pathos near
Can’t hope to spar
With the letters here
I fear
The rhetoric isn’t clear
S, p, d filled up in line
The derivative was two roots of sine
The answer’s A
No, B
No, D
You’re all wrong
The answer’s Z
My words have left, abandoned ship
Now I’m stuck to sway and slip
The rigging’s there
The oars are here
The electrons are shared
The ideas won’t cohere
I fear
My words have left me here

~Kassi~
*suffering from post midterm stress disorder*

Night chills

barefoot -
night chill -
shivery empty house
(everyone's asleep)
downstairs, the light is on
glaring down on the kitchen table -
Dad's up late
fingers pinching his temple
stacks of bills
and the old clock with grating gears
-
"Go back to bed, Sweetheart.
Don't you worry."

- Alexa

Of Boys and Their Pride

It’s funny, really, how most boys
Seem to think that women are their toys
But I have no price, I can’t be bought
And plasticine I am not
But go ahead, boys, have your fun
I don’t belong to anyone
Try to own me. I dare you, now
Bet you wouldn’t even know how
Oh, I see you’re a bit distressed
That I refuse to be possessed
Does my defiance upset your world?
Defiance is only the first petal unfurled
So now you’ll talk, you’ll rave and rant
My attention, though, will be quite scant
Listen? Please, don’t make me laugh
You have the eloquence of a giraffe
And the vocabulary, I must say, of a pig
Oh look, now you’re talking really big
To make up for smaller things, I’m sure
I’ll bet Viagra has a cure
Did that offend your manly pride?
Good, ‘cause I’ve just hit my stride
Try to leave; you’ll only fall
You can’t resist a Siren’s call
You swear that I’ll regret the day
That I sat and let you walk away
Oh, how easily these boys forget
That I’m unlike anyone they’ve ever met
I won’t wallow in Desire
I will revel in the fire
But they, I fear, will simply burn
No, these boys will never learn
They’ll still be screaming out my name
They forget that, above all, it’s a game
I’ve trumped them in skills, and certainly in brains
Yet somehow they still think they hold the reins
Silly boys, don’t you see?
It’s you who’ll regret tangling with me
I am no man’s simple toy
I’ll make of you a helpless boy
Don’t bother fighting; you won’t win
My curves will send you for a spin
In this fair game of love and lust
Give up now (you really must)
Or play until you meet your demise
You’ll find it here, inside my eyes

~Kassi~